Everybody run,

the homecoming queen's got a gun.

Today I realized why people snap. They just lose it. And you wonder, "How did that happen?" And today the above song has been on my mind. Here's what happened.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to make the 500P Mass today at St. Anne's. Plus they are having the Fall Fiesta so parking would be difficult. I opted to run over to St. Theresa's for the 1000A Mass.

I was already wired from the Claritin-D and the Iced Grande Sugar-free Vanilla Non-fat Latte so I really didn't need to be bothered.

Sitting behind me were some teenage girls with an infant. Jabber, jabber, jabber + baby crying.

In front of me was a guy, probably my age or a bit younger, with two boys. The kids were probably 5 & 6 years of age and dad was sitting between them trying to keep them apart. The kids couldn't sit still.

I kept trying to ignore the distractions around me and concentrate on the Mass and I was doing a good job until we reached the Eucharistic Prayer. (This is the part of the Mass where everyone is kneeling and the priest is consecrating the host.) So you see, it is supposed to be quiet and everyone is supposed to be concentrating on what is going on.

The two boys in front of me were fighting over the hymnals. They had a stack of 5 and they couldn't have 2 & 3 or 3 & 1 or 1 & 4. It was all or nothing. Dad was not making much of an effort to break up the fight. I was getting furious.

I was really trying to ignore what was happening in front of me but I couldn't. I was really trying to concentrate on what was happening on the altar, but I couldn't. I really wanted to bop them on the head; dad included. And then I thought, "If I had a gun I'd probably shoot them; not to kill but to get their attention."

The kid in front of me finally got all 5 hymnals and the other one was starting to do a silent cry. I leaned forward and grabbed all 5 hymnals and put them in my pew. The kids looked stunned. Dad was embarassed. The girls behind me started giggling. I wondered if I was going to get my lights punched out in church?

Dad said something to the two boys and then the oldest one said, "I didn't mean to embarass you dad." Uh, hello. NO apology to me or to the people in front of them?

It came time for the Communion hymn and dad reached to get a hymnal. Guess what? I had the hymnals and I wasn't sharing.

Needless to say, I feel like I didn't get much out of going to Mass today. The sermon was good so maybe it wasn't a total loss.

I got out of the church before anyone could say something to me or hit me. Not sure that I'll be going back to the 1000A Mass at St. Theresa's anytime in the near future.