As I See It - 01.04.16 - See you later

Saying goodbye seems so final. See you later means you'll see the person at another point in time. And such was the case on Monday, when family and friends gathered at St. Andrew Catholic Church in Ft. Worth for the funeral Mass for Ralph Guereca, Jr. Uncle Ralph is one of my mother's siblings.

The previous evening, family and friends gathered at Mt. Olivet Funeral Home for a rosary and wake. It was in the same room as my dad's rosary.

It had been a long time since I'd been in St. Andrew's. I think the last time I was there was for a wedding. It made think how a church can be a gathering place for good times and bad. It is also the church where my high school junior class had Mass on Ring Day. #memories

Following the Mass, we proceeded to Mt. Olivet Cemetery when many friends and relatives are buried. It brought back memories from my dad's funeral in November 2011. And like my dad, Uncle Ralph was a military veteran. Along with this comes the honor of having a flag draped on the coffin and presented to the family. It's very moving. When the flag was presented, the presenter, on one knee said, "On behalf of the President of the United States and the people of a grateful nation, may I present this flag as a token of appreciation for the honorable and faithful service your loved one rendered this nation."

Following the internment, we took my mom back to the house. I loaded up The Cal Mobile, got The Calvinator and we were on our way back to H-town with a stop in West.

As I See It - 01.03.16 - On the road again

Earlier in the week when I was returning back from Ft. Worth, I received a phone call from sister telling me that one of my uncle's had died. He had been ill for awhile.

The funeral was scheduled for January 4 so...I loaded up The Calvinator and headed back to Ft. Worth on Sunday. The entrance to Westpark Tollway isn't too far from The Crib and even though traffic was probably going to be light, I decided to go ahead and take the Westpark to the Grand Parkway...and we were on our way.

Pic Of The Day - 08.08.15 - See You Later Bill

Often it has been said that only the good die young. It's always sad when someone dies way too soon and such was the case with Bill Barrow.

I met Bill when we were in the Krewe Of Olympus-Texas. It was a person with a big heart and a creative flair.

Bill died in July and on his birthday, a Mardi Gras-esque celebration of his life was held.

There was a very nice write-up about him in the Houston Chronicle. You can read it here.

A 2" x 4" To The Head

Sometimes you need a 2" x 4" to hit you on the side of the head to remind you how good you really have it. I go through periods of my life sucks but in reality it really doesn't. I do have this fear that something will happen to The Calvinator and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with it. I won't be the first or the last to lose a furry companion. Plus, there are health issues with my mom. She has great set of people in Fort Worth who look after her and help her.

This morning, the woe is me came to a stop when I watched this story about two women who were orphans in South Vietnam and were airlifted to the U.S. It was on CBS Sunday Morning. It documents their trips back to Vietnam and trying to find their mothers. I'll give you a heads up...both stories have very different endings.

However, before I tuned in to CBS Sunday Morning, I was on Facebook and found out that I guy I know lost his wife on Friday. She gave birth to a daughter and then died. Details were not forthcoming. I cannot EVEN imagine what he is going through and what her family is going through. It sounds like a joyous and tragic moment at the same time.

My heart goes out to O.J.

So, I'll put my life in perspective and be thankful for what I have. I really do have a good life.

See You Later Bryan

If you've  been following my recent blog posts, you might remember me making a comment that there was something I need to write about but I wasn't ready to do so.  I've put it off as long as possible but today is the day.  I think I have waited writing this because the reality of the loss of friend hit me hard today when I attended a funeral Mass for him.

A few weeks ago I was at work and was getting ready to call it a day.  It was later than I usually stay.  I was getting ready to turn off my computer and a message appeared via Facebook from Trisha Beissel.  It was a request to call her.  I had met Trisha maybe once or twice.

The message really concerned because I knew that her mother had heart surgery within the past year or so.  I thought it was odd that Trisha was asking me to call her because if something had had happened to her mother, why wasn't Bryan calling me?

When I spoke with Trisha, she told me Bryan had died.  It was news I didn't expect to hear.  In fact, I had to repeat back to her what I thought I had heard her say.  And I was correct, Bryan was dead.

I met Bryan in 1997 at St. Anne Catholic Church here in Houston.  He was a part of a group of guys that would attend the Sunday, 5:00PM Mass.  AttyHou and I made friends with the group and every now and then we would go across the street to Cafe Adobe for fellowship after Mass.

Throughout the years, Bryan and I would find ourselves at the same party or fundraiser.  We did some traveling together which provided us with some great memories.  He became a BeadBoy and hosted some Mardi Gras parties with me and some others.

BeadBoys Party

Bryan had friends around the world.  He traveled the world because of his job and he made friends everywhere he went.

Bryan left Houston and moved to Atlanta.  As time went on, we didn't speak to each as often as we used to when he lived in Houston; it happens.

Sometimes when Bryan would be in Houston for work we would get together for dinner.  On occasion, his mother would join us.  He was the type of person that I could pick up the conversation where we last left off.

He was also the type of person that would do anything for you...within reason.

Our last conversation was early/mid-January.  We reminisced about a trip to Los Angeles and how much fun we had coming back to Houston.  We had a good laugh going down Memory Lane.  I also told him to think about coming to Houston for the Mystery & Fantasy Mardi Gras Party on 2/22/14.  He said he would think about it.

I sent Bryan a text message on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and never heard back from him.  I thought it was a bit odd but I didn't think too much about it when he didn't reply.  Within a week he would be dead.

Bryan was 51 when he died; a year younger than me.

At 1308 Cantina, April 2, 2010

 I was upset to hear the news.  I called his mother and we shared a few tears and laughs over the phone.  Bryan was cremated and due to the big ice/snow storm in Atlanta, there was going to be a delay in the delivery of his ashes.  And so, a Mass was scheduled for today and the reality of Bryan being dead hit me like a train.

When the arrangements were made, Trisha asked if I would say a few words at the service and I agreed.  I wasn't sure what to say and even when Mass started, I still wasn't sure what I would say.  I had a long continuous dream last night about the funeral.  I didn't sleep well.

This morning, I went to Starbucks and jotted down a few bullet points and then it was time to go to the church.

I shared some memories with the congregants.  It was by far one of the hardest things I have had to do.  I told them how we met at a church.  I told them about our last conversation and I'm glad we were able to laugh.  I told them that I had invited him to come to Houston for the Mystery & Fantasy Mardi Gras Party tomorrow.

If you could say that we had a song, it would be Amber's Above The Clouds and I shared that with the assembly.


I ended it by saying that if you believe heaven is above the clouds, then Bryan is there smiling at us.  And because I said hello to him the first time at church I was glad that I could be at a church at a Mass in his memory and be able to say, "See you later Bryan."

St. Justin the Martyr Catholic Church

EPILOGUE: A lady who was at the Mass told me that my comments made her smile.  Several guys who there told me I did good job.  Bryan's dad found me at the luncheon and thanked me for speaking.  He said he could tell that I spoke from my heart.

Pic of the day - 01.19.14

Sunday was the running of the Chevron Houston Marathon & Aramco Houston Half-Marathon.  Thousands of runners took to the streets of Houston on a new course that incorporated portions of the old course.  Of course The portion that was kept on the marathon course was the part I refer to as The Allen Parkway Death March.  Up and down.  Up and down.  Just when you don't want to go up and you only want to go down.

Anywho...I had several friends running both races.  Because of road closures and not being real familiar with the new course of course I arrived at Fit early and waited for the runners to come down Waugh Drive.  At the last minute I remembered I had my big hand in the car so I grabbed the clapper and clapped away.

I went to workout since I was already at Fit and then went to Starbucks to feed my daily addiction.  While I was there, I received a text message that AlanTheRealtor aka AlnHouston had just crossed the 30K marker.  I made my way to the portion of the course that I refer to as The Dog Leg.  Memorial Drive to Shepherd to Allen Parkway.  And yes, the big hand was with me.

When I saw AlanTheRealtor, I ran with him and the big hand for a few steps and wished him well down the Allen Parkway Death March.  This photo I snapped is of people still on the course who may or may not have finished within the allotted time.  I posted it on Instagram with the caption, "Never give up on your dreams."

Now for the rest of the story...

It was somewhat emotional being out there.  Chase Dreyer had posted this photo on his Facebook page.

Chase's dad died a few months ago so Sunday he was running for his dad.  I saw Chase before I saw Alan The Realtor and gave him a high 5 and then I almost cried.  This is an email I sent to Chase later on Sunday:

• 
  

  Hi Chase,
  

  First of all, once again, congratulations on finishing today!
  
  Second, I hope you don't think this is a weird message. I think we've only briefly talked once at Fit a few years ago or so but there is something I want to share with you.
  
  I don't know if you remember me giving you a high five on the Memorial Drive/Shepherd dog leg of the marathon course. I had seen your signage on your torso on Facebook page earlier so when I saw you come around the corner it really moved me.
  
  My dad passed away the Saturday after Thanksgiving in November 2011. In late August, cancer cells had been found in his bile duct. He had several options. Chemo & radiation and maybe have another year. Do nothing and live 3 months or less. Do surgery (a very complicate procedure called Whipple Surgery) and possibly live another 5 years.
  
  The surgeon who agreed to do the surgery only agreed to do it because he said even though my dad was 81, he had the body of a 60 year old. My dad ran his first marathon in Ft. Worth at age 50 and probably ran on a regular basis until some time in his 70s. The doctor attributed his fitness regimen to being so healthy.
  
  I was on the course for his 2nd and 3rd marathons. I think he only ran three (and I don't mean "only" to sound like I'm discounting him) marathons. He continued to participate in 5ks and 10ks.
  
  After watching him run those marathons, I remember thinking, "I can do that" but it wasn't until 1998 that I ran my first marathon. He came down from Ft. Worth with my mom, sister, and brother-in-law. And he came down here two other times to cheer me on. He was with me at the start line along the course and at the finish line. I've traveled to other cities to run marathons and half-marathons and always had his encouragement.
  
  So back to 2011. I had been training for the 2012 Houston Half Marathon but I ended up going back and forth to Ft. Worth that fall in preparation for the surgery and my training schedule went out the window. I remember after the surgery the surgeon said, "I guarantee you he will not die of cancer. We removed all of the cells." The uncertainty was whether or not he would survive the surgery. It was too much for his 81 year old body and his body rejected the changes that were made.
  
  Looking back, it's almost as if I lost all my inspiration to run when he died. I keep thinking that one day I'll get back out there (and lose all of this weight I've put on).
  
  You really moved me today. Seeing you out there running for your dad was very inspiring. I'm sure your dad was with you every step of the way just like mine will be the next time I get out there on a long run.
  
  Once again, congratulations and...
  Thank you!
  
  Timmy

Only the good die young

Many of you may remember Billy Joel's song Only The Good Die Young. It was quite popular when I was in high school...Catholic high school that is. If you know the lyrics you know the significance of the song to going to a Catholic high school.

I picked a fight with someone the other night. A few adult beverages and some text messages and once the ball started rolling down the hill I wouldn't let it stop.

My bad behavior was really bugging me and I called the person today to apologize. Whether I was right or wrong I should have dealt with this in an adult manner rather than doing it via text messages.

In our talk today he told me about someone who died yesterday. Tyler Goolsby died yesterday at the age of 27. It was sudden. I don't have all of the details but I do know that he was with friends when it happened.

Tyler had just finished law school. He was also a member of the Lonestar Lariats. I've read postings on his Facebook wall and he was a really special guy.

Tyler's untimely death is on the heals of the death of a cousin of mine. James was only 45 and he too died suddenly.

I am very glad that I called and apologized to my friend. If I hadn't done it and if something happened to him, I would never be able to forgive myself. So please, if there is someone in your life that you need to make amends with, please do it. Obviously, life can be too short.

I went to Mass this evening and one of the songs had this lyric in it: There is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend. It reminded me of a conversation I had late last night with someone. We were talking about our unique friendship that is based upon us being über-fans of Pet Shop Boys. We had been together for a big chunk of the afternoon and evening and the song Being Boring was our theme song last night.

Cherish the people in your life.

Jukebox Wednesday

This past week has been a rollercoaster of a ride. Some highs and some lows. Some good times and some sad times.

I was with my sister to celebrate her 50th Birthday. Also used the time to celebrate Fathers Day. While it was a time for celebrating there was also some sadness. A cousin unexpectedly died. Mixed in with all this are the day-to-day issues that arise not only for me but for my family and friends. Wouldn't it be nice if things never went wrong? Is that so wrong? Just askin'.

For today's Jukebox Wednesday, I have selected one of my favorite Ray Charles songs. Enjoy!

Death

This status was posted on Facebook: _________ doesn't understand why people feel sad when celebrities die? are you that lonely and needy?

There were several comments posted and some of them weren't very kind. And I'm sorry that the person who originally posted the status update has had to deal with death several times in his life. He was questioning the obsession with celebrities and this was posted in response to people being sad about Bea Arthur.

It got me to thinking though. Why does the death of a celebrity make me sad. In the case of Bea Arthur, she is someone that I first noticed when she was in Maude. This was back in the early '70s. Then of course, there was Golden Girls. Both shows made me laugh. Laughter brought into my life via the telly over the course of many years. And though I never met Bea, I admired her talent and that is talent that can no longer be shared (except in reruns!).

The untimely death of Princess Di really bothered me because we were about the same age. It is an event like that that is a reality check.

So, I just had to get that off of my chest. People mourn in different ways and that should be respected.

...anything but tranquilizing. Right on Maude!

In this Jan. 10, 2005 file photo, Broadway and television actress Bea Arthur performs during "A Celebration of Cy Coleman" at the Majestic theatre in New York. Family spokesman Dan Watt says the 86-year-old Arthur died at home early Saturday, April 25, 2009. He says Arthur had cancer, but declined to give further details.


Source: AP