"Better have you naked by the end of this song"

So things didn't go as planned this morning with my Saturday run. The plan was to go to Memorial Park and do 7 miles or so.

I got up this morning and walked The Calvinator then got ready to go to Memorial Park. I had put on a pair of shorts that I hadn't worn in awhile and me and my happy @ss were off to the park. And just in case you're wondering, I was wearing my Crocs.

So I get to the park, put on the running shoes, slather on some Body Glide on the thighs, put on the iPod nano and tried to determine if it was shirtless running weather 'cause the humidity was feeling really high. Figuring that I'd prolly have to lose the shirt (which running shirtless has nothing to do with being vain and trying to show off...it's more about scaring people...I mean being hot and uncomfortable) at some point, I decided to just say "f__ it" and if people go blind, well so be it.

I do my ritual pee, take a swig of H2O and off I go. Everything is fine until about the 1 1/2 mile marker. (I won't comment on the people who decided to use ME as their pacer and wouldn't get off my @ss.)

Right around 1 1/2 miles the shorts start to slip. It is then that I remember why I haven't worn these shorts in a long time. When they get wet (from sweat or rain or both), they start to slip down. So here I am running and wondering what kind of a show I'm giving to the people behind me. If you read in the headlines today that there is a crack problem at Memorial Park, you'll know that they're talking about ME!

Now I'm regretting not wearing a shirt 'cause at least the shirt would give me some coverage. I'm trying to figure out what to do 'cause I could only run for about 30 seconds before I'd have to pull the shorts up. I get to the 2 mile marker, grab some water and think, "This ain't so bad. I can do this."

Rather than do 1 more mile, I decide to do 2 more. Big mistake. The slippage only gets worse...and you see it only happens when I run not when I walk. I just wanted this to be over with so I kept running and pulling up the shorts.

I guess at one point I must have pulled them up too high or they were too low 'cause I noticed people running toward were staring at me and they weren't looking at my face; they were looking around the waist line.

Now I'm thinking, "What do I have in The Cal Mobile that will keep the shorts up?'' Nothing. So, now I'm just trying to finish and for some odd reason I think of Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake singing Rock Your Body at Reliant Stadium during the Super Bowl and her wardrobe malfunction.

See how my mind works? You should all be afraid of me!!!!

Anywho, I finished 4 miles, cooled down and went home. The shorts are now in the trash can.

Speaking of running, I haven't been doing weights very much or spinning and I'm feeling really guilty and fat. These guilt trips are from 12 years of Catholic school. ;-)

What A Croc!

Let me first state these facts:

1) I *heart* Tim Gunn

2) I *heart* LoneStarSteve

One of the good things about *hearting* people is that you can agree to disagree and not be offended when comments are made about your attire; just so long as they are willing to accept criticism about their attire.

Tim became popular during the first season of Project Runway. Along with super model Heidi Klum, designer Michael Kors and Nina Garcia Fashion Editor for ELLE Magazine (you have say Nina's name and title all in one breath and with a German accent like Heidi Klum otherwise it doesn't work), Tim offered their opinions about the designers' creations. "Make it work." and "Carry on." are Tim's signature phrases. He is quite eloquent when he speaks and I would love to have dinner and cocktails with him one night and watch him cut loose.

The other day, the Houston Chronicle published a Q & A with Tim Gunn. There were two things that I had to read twice because I just don't agree with Tim:

Q.: What fashion trend should never come back?
A.: Crocs. They're just appalling.

Q.: What's the least fashionable item in your closet?
A.: A pair of cargo shorts.

WHAT????!!!!

I *heart* my Crocs! They are so comfortable. They're great for walking The Calvinator in the rain. They're great for slipping on to run some errands. They're great for slipping on before and after a run so that I don't have to wear dirty running shoes in the car. They're great for wearing to the Spin Room so that I don't have to walk (and sound like I'm tap dancing on the gym floor and who knows WHAT would happen if I was heard tapping in the locker room...thanx Larry Craig) in the cycling shoes.

So I send LoneStarSteve (another Tim Gunn aficionado) an e-mail about how I disagree with Tim Gunn's opinion of the Crocs. In part, this is what HE says...

...all i can remember thinking was: they need to collect up all of those 'alleged' shoes and burn them in a big pile. and then they need to destroy the original molds so that no more can be produced.

You win some and you lose some.

Here are my Crocs.

And I don't know how many pairs of cargo shorts I have but they're quite handy when you have to carry around different gadgets. They're much more accepted than a man purse.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Weekend Plans

I was supposed to go on a road trip this weekend but that has been delayed until later in the month. Nothing wrong with being flexible with your plans, right?

Will definitely get up tomorrow morning and do a 7 or 8 mile run. Putz around during the day and then do dinner with some friends.

Sunday will probably consist of my normal Sunday morning routine and then I'll catch the matinee performance of Whistle Down The Wind and then attend an evening Mass at St. Anne's, St. Theresa's or St. Michael's.

CORRECTION on 9/9/07: I found out this morning that the show starts it previews today and actually opens on 9/13/07.

SIDEBAR: When I purchased my ticket for Whistle Down The Wind, I didn't realize that the national tour is starting here in Houston and the 200P performance will be their first performance. Not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

When Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? The Musical premiered here in Houston, I was there on opening night and it was uh...hmmm...pretty bad. A stage hand got caught on stage and stayed there through the scene. Some of the props didn't work. Cues were missed. And we were laughing at parts that I later found out weren't supposed to be funny. Plus parts of the story didn't make any sense.

I thought it was a campy musical...the director, the producer, the lyricist and everyone else associated with the production had other thoughts. If memory serves me well, it never made it to Broadway.