I had a dream

So now either you are humming Everything's Coming Up Roses or I Have A Dream by ABBA. Anywho.

I had the weirdest dream last night and decided to share it with you. Lucky you! This dream was right after the dream about moving furniture for a cousin who dropped out of Notre Dame University and transferred to University of Texas. It involved having to having to get my ex-landlord to hitch a trailer to The Cal Mobile, etc., etc., etc. So here is the weird dream.

I was booked to be the comedian who did a stand-up act after Sammy Davis, Jr. performed his song and dance number. I've never done stand-up before (Isn't my life funny enough? Who needs to rehearse?) so I was unprepared. My booking agent was Melissa Rivers. She wasn't too prepared either and I kept telling her I thought it was odd that I was performing after Sammy Davis, Jr. (nevermind that Sammy Davis, Jr. is DEAD!) but she kept telling me not to worry about it. She comes running up to me and tells me that she thinks a Duke Ellington song would be good introduction music for me. She tells me to give her my Duke Ellington cd...like I carry one with me at all times? I tell her I don't have one with me and she says she will ask her dad (who is also dead!).

So we go to her mom's house (which was attached to an amusement park) so that I can cleanup. Joan Rivers' house was HUGE with a bunch of hallways, closets and bathrooms. She had guests there who were also trying to get ready for Sammy Davis, Jr.'s performance (OK people, he's DEAD!) so the house was buzzing with activity.

In the midst of all of this activity I have to go to the bathroom and we're not talking about having to pee. (Read between the lines.) So I go to find the bathroom only to realize the one I find in this huge house is like a communal bathroom and everyone can see me sitting there!

So I'm dealing with that and I'm trying to come up with my comedy routine and I decide I should talk about things people can relate to: having to go to the bathroom; hitting the send button on an email when you really didn't mean to; texting; cell phones. So I get that all sorted out and flush the toilet and it doesn't work! OMG! I'm in Joan Rivers house and I can't get the toilet to work. I'm looking everywhere for a plunger and can't find one. I keep flushing and flushing and flushing and FINALLY it works.

So now it's time for me to get dressed but I can't find my clothes. So I go walking through the house and turn on a light only to realize it was the switch for security system's panic button and when I turned it on it turned on the emergency generator. OY!

So I find my clothes and walk through the door thinking I'm walking into a changing room of some sort but it takes me to the amusement park and I can't get back into Joan Rivers' house. So now I'm walking around the amusement park trying to find a place to change clothes and I'm trying to rehearse my routine and I finally realize I'm going to bomb and be a big dud.

So that's the end of the dream and I woke up tired. Maybe it had something to do with the two Margaritas, beer, Absolut Mango shot and Mexican food that I had last night?