"May I please be excused?"

Dear Miss Manners: When one wishes to get up from the table to go to the restroom, I think it rude to just get up and depart. So I announce, "Excuse me, I'm going to the restroom." My friends seem to vanish from the table with no explanation, and I suppose they think no explanation is necessary. What to do or say or not say? Gentle Reader: Does it have to be everything or nothing? Leaving without a word is rude, but explaining where you are going is unpleasantly vivid for those who are eating. Miss Manners hopes you can content yourself with a mere "Excuse me," trusting that your destination is not much of a mystery. This letter to Miss Manners made me think of something. When I was a child my parents really tried to instill in me good manners. It worked for awhile and I'm not sure when I fell off the Good Manners Wagon (maybe after a drunken night of debauchery in New Orleans?) but every now and then I do slip back into good manners mode. You see...
We could never leave the dinner table without saying, "May I please be excused?" And we couldn't leave the dinner table until Joe or Helen (my parents) said, "Yes."
When I have been at dinner with friends, business associates, etc. I do find myself saying, "Excuse me for a moment." or "I need to excuse myself from the table." I don't ask for permission but I do let it be known that I am leaving and will be back or if I'm not coming back I also let that be known.
I have been at dinner tables when someone gets up and leaves without saying a word and to me it is a bit odd. It leaves me wondering what is going on. Were they offended by something that was said? Are they leaving and not coming back? Are they stalking somebody?
So I'm just wondering, is it common to verbally excuse yourself from the table? Just askin'.
And speaking of that, why do women go in pairs to the bathroom?

Changing the subject completely...
I'm sure I will see many of you at Quadra tonight. This is a birthday party that four guys put on for themselves. It is always fun because people come of out of the woodwork. Last year I ran into someone that I had not seen in forever and this is one of the first people that I met when I moved to Houston 16 years ago.
It is also fun because it isn't a fundraiser AND we don't have to bring presents! The party is at Status which is across the street from The Cha Cha Palace (the scene of Kaye Sedilla's Last Salsa.) I've never been to Status (just like I've never been to me) so exploring something new is always a delight.
Stay cool today. It's gonna hit the über high 90s here in The Bayou City!

I'm Still Here (Apr. 20)

I just realized that it has been several days since I have posted anything on the blog. It's been a hectic few days. Lots of stuff going on.

Throw in some really nice weather here in H-town and well, let's just say The Calvinator is getting lots of time outside on our walks and I'm getting a base tan.

Last night I had a nice time wishing a friend a Happy 28th Birthday. I invited someone to go with me (just in case I didn't know anybody at the party) and on the way over I commented that the birthday boy's mother was going to be there. Then I started doing some calculations and realized that his mother could be my age and I was old enough to be the birthday boy's father. OY!

The birthday boy put on a really nice party for himself. His aunt commented about him throwing his own party and I told her that sometimes it is just easier that way. You can plan the party that you want and more importantly you can control the guest list!

Which brings me to something that has been on my mind and it has to do with manners and class.

Recently there have been several instances where I have either seen someone exhibit a lack of manners or I have seen someone exhibit true class. There was a recent episode on The Real Housewives of New York City that dealt with manners. The Countess LuAnn (platter) went off on Ramona and basically called her out on not having any manners. That episode generated several conversations with some friends about class, manners and good public decorum.

So last night at the party, my guest and I strike up a conversation with someone that was feeling the need to air every ounce of pretentiousness in his body. And let's just say, he wasn't a small person so there was a bunch of pretentiousness oozing from his pores.

He felt the need to make snide remarks about people who were cuter and younger than him. He said that they would never speak to people like us. EXCUSE ME?!?! I proceeded to tell him that if I wanted to I could walk up to any of them and strike up a conversation.

He also started this game about being coy and not revealing his age because well...we were the oldest guys there.

In the course of the conversation he told us that he was born and raised in South Africa. I know two people who were born and raised in South Africa and they have an accent that could be confused with being Aussies. This guy didn't have that accent and I told him that I had not detected an accent. He then tells us that people of a certain class who were born and raised in South Africa were taught to lose their accents. He said he lived in a compound (like a sect maybe?) but I think he meant in a gated community.

We did our best to get away from him but he was like a gnat. The more we swatted the more he came around.

We left and went to Meteor (aka Meet-A-Whore) and guess who was there? Him. He followed us around for a bit and tried to strike up another conversation. At that point I had had enough of him and his attitude and so had my guest. At some in our conversation he pointed out to us that he was wearing big rings and he could hit us with them or something like that. (And yes he was wearing big rings with big stones...imagine costume jewelry at Macy's in the women's department.)

I don't understand people who feel like they need to put on airs and then in the process be catty. In my opinion, it shows they have a low self-esteem and a true lack of manners.

I can't imagine Jackie Kennedy or Lynn Wyatt doing something like that. And while I wanted to call him out (like The Countess LuAnn (platter) did to Ramona), I was also reminded of a letter that was sent to Ann Landers or Dear Abby.

Someone wrote in and said that she had been at a dinner party. She said that one of the guests had not displayed good manners and used the wrong fork. She wanted to know if there was a polite way to point out to someone that they had used the wrong fork.

Ann Landers or Dear Abby replied back that a person with good manners would never point out to someone that they had used the wrong fork.